Being a working mom is fucking hard.
Just picked my 5 year old from dance class. But she wasn't there. She decided to play hooky and play on the playground. So many issues with this scenario, but she is someone who wants to do what she wants when she wants. (She gets it honestly, but lord. I was scared to death when I couldn't find her.)
Monday, September 28, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Better
Today was so much better than yesterday....Israel was absent. I hate to say that. But, it's true.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
It's only Tuesday?
I am so tired from today. It feels like a full moon must be on its way. Today, Donovan decided to question everything, I mean everything, and speak very rudely toward me. Another student, Israel, continued to write gang signs on every paper plus some, called me "gangsta" several times, swore left and right, chewed gum continuously, walked around the math room where I co-teach in another teacher's classroom, threw gang signs across the room to another student and basically twittered about as if he were a fly on speed, buzzing, buzzing everywhere.
So, why don't I write the students up or send them to the office for this egregious behavior? Because it really doesn't get me or the student anywhere. It used to before the Bored started closing down the alternative schools. Now, the only place kids with behavioral problems can go is the juvenile detention center. So, I've come to the conclusion that it's best if I try to build a rapport and be the teacher that "understands" and doesn't write them up.
There used to be schools for kids with emotional and behavioral challenges. Small programs, like the one I started my teaching career in, where there is a 6:1 ratio of students to teachers, there are several full time social workers, a full time nurse, two full time occupational therapist, a full time psychologist, and a full time speech pathologist. My CPS school has a a part time social worker, a part time nurse, a part time psychologist (who only does testing--no counseling), and a part time speech pathologist. So, the services that are there to help the students with the most troubles are very scarce.
I used to try really hard to get my students into alternative programs. The ones I thought could benefit. I used to write anecdotals that would be fit for a best-selling biography. But, I've started saving my energies for other things. Three years ago, it finally occurred to me that I was spinning my wheels. I referred a student to the Office of Specialized Services to be evaluated for a behavioral disorder. After going through pages of anecdotals that included a picture of the student killing me and my assistant and blowing up the school, the enlightened behavioral specialist told me--and wrote in her report-- "Ben doesn't have a behavioral problem. Swearing doesn't constitute a behavioral disorder."
The funny thing is that Ben never swore, so I'm not sure what she was talking about.
The sad thing is that less than one month later, Ben shot another student. Fortunately, the student lived.
And Ben did end up in an alternative educational program. The Cook County Juvenile Detention Center.
Ben should be a sophomore in high school now. But, he quit. He's on the street selling drugs.
So, why don't I write the students up or send them to the office for this egregious behavior? Because it really doesn't get me or the student anywhere. It used to before the Bored started closing down the alternative schools. Now, the only place kids with behavioral problems can go is the juvenile detention center. So, I've come to the conclusion that it's best if I try to build a rapport and be the teacher that "understands" and doesn't write them up.
There used to be schools for kids with emotional and behavioral challenges. Small programs, like the one I started my teaching career in, where there is a 6:1 ratio of students to teachers, there are several full time social workers, a full time nurse, two full time occupational therapist, a full time psychologist, and a full time speech pathologist. My CPS school has a a part time social worker, a part time nurse, a part time psychologist (who only does testing--no counseling), and a part time speech pathologist. So, the services that are there to help the students with the most troubles are very scarce.
I used to try really hard to get my students into alternative programs. The ones I thought could benefit. I used to write anecdotals that would be fit for a best-selling biography. But, I've started saving my energies for other things. Three years ago, it finally occurred to me that I was spinning my wheels. I referred a student to the Office of Specialized Services to be evaluated for a behavioral disorder. After going through pages of anecdotals that included a picture of the student killing me and my assistant and blowing up the school, the enlightened behavioral specialist told me--and wrote in her report-- "Ben doesn't have a behavioral problem. Swearing doesn't constitute a behavioral disorder."
The funny thing is that Ben never swore, so I'm not sure what she was talking about.
The sad thing is that less than one month later, Ben shot another student. Fortunately, the student lived.
And Ben did end up in an alternative educational program. The Cook County Juvenile Detention Center.
Ben should be a sophomore in high school now. But, he quit. He's on the street selling drugs.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Mountains and Mole Hills
I hate to be a trader to my gender, but working with mostly women is like reliving high school. If you say something to one person, it goes through a telephone line, gets completely warped and in the end, friends are mad at each other for something that didn't even happen. Oy. Vey.
More students are doing their reading logs. I decided to "punish" them separately. See, I was originally going to have every student who did not do their reading log have a silent lunch. But, then I decided that would solidify their coup and I would never get anyone to read. So, now I am randomly selecting a student log and if that student did his/her work, he/she gets 50 cents to buy the yummy cookies the lunch lady sells. If the log is missing, then they have a silent lunch. I'm only going to do this a couple weeks or they'll expect to be paid for everything. I really just want them reading, reading, reading.
That's all for now.
More students are doing their reading logs. I decided to "punish" them separately. See, I was originally going to have every student who did not do their reading log have a silent lunch. But, then I decided that would solidify their coup and I would never get anyone to read. So, now I am randomly selecting a student log and if that student did his/her work, he/she gets 50 cents to buy the yummy cookies the lunch lady sells. If the log is missing, then they have a silent lunch. I'm only going to do this a couple weeks or they'll expect to be paid for everything. I really just want them reading, reading, reading.
That's all for now.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Fighting Windmills
Only ONE of my eighth graders has done their reading homework.
Maybe it's too hard? Maybe it's not fair?
All they have to do is read for 20 minutes and summarize what they are reading in just one sentence or two. I just gave them time to do it and only two of the four who are in here now chose to do it. The rest decided to stare into space.
I could cry.
Maybe it's too hard? Maybe it's not fair?
All they have to do is read for 20 minutes and summarize what they are reading in just one sentence or two. I just gave them time to do it and only two of the four who are in here now chose to do it. The rest decided to stare into space.
I could cry.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Good News
Today, I found out that all the classes I took prior to getting my masters will count toward endorsing my certificate. However, this was told to me by a DePaul University adviser and I was told the opposite by ISBE (Illinois State Board of Education.)
Tomorrow is my first Union meeting with the teachers. Little nervous. But, I'm doing my best.
Must go to bed. Am very tired.
Tomorrow is my first Union meeting with the teachers. Little nervous. But, I'm doing my best.
Must go to bed. Am very tired.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Bill Clinton nor George Bush can teach Here
Do you realize that Bill Clinton nor George Bush--elder or younger--are qualified to teach social science in the middle school grades in the Chicago Public School System. This fact makes me feel better that I am not either.
I've been teaching 7th and 8th graders the majority of my time as a teacher. I love it. My heart goes out to them. The difference between what a child is like when he/she starts 7th grade is enormous to how he/she is when 8th grade graduation occurs. At this age, the emotional part of a child's brain is growing much faster than the rational part of the brain. This is a scientific fact. And many parents and teachers are bewildered at how emotional 7th and 8th graders can be. It's the terrible twos all over again with a large helping of hormones poured on top.
I had a student last year tell me to "shut the "f" up." A half hour later this same student--a boy with an emotional disorder--was sitting at my desk crying because he was missing his late father. By the end of the day he was as cheerful as can be and volunteering answers. And, if I do say so myself, it takes a strong constitution to handle the ups and downs, the trials and tribulations, the pride and disappointment felt in minutes when dealing with students in the middle grades.
In addition to teaching middle school students for at least 7 years, I have also been teaching them social science. I have absolutely fallen in love with the subject. I teach all the subjects, but I particularly love teaching them social science. Middle School students often feel helpless to authority at the same time being told to act like an adult. Teaching the students their Constitutional rights empowers them. Teaching them about the young people throughout history who have altered the course of the world grabs their attention and, again, empowers them. Teaching them about the different parts of the world ignites curiousity that motivates them to do better so they can see the world around them first hand.
But, I'm not qualified to teach it anymore.
The Illinois State Board of Education, in all its magnificent glory, has rewritten the rules and moved the goal line once again. Now a teacher needs to be endorsed in the middle school grades and the subjects they teach, even if they have been teaching these grades and subjects for years now. Doesn't count.
So, Bill Clinton, George H W Bush and George W Bush, you need not apply. Harvard will take you. Yale will take you. Georgetown, Stanford and Oakton Community College. But, sorry. You don't have enough credentials here, at CPS.
I've been teaching 7th and 8th graders the majority of my time as a teacher. I love it. My heart goes out to them. The difference between what a child is like when he/she starts 7th grade is enormous to how he/she is when 8th grade graduation occurs. At this age, the emotional part of a child's brain is growing much faster than the rational part of the brain. This is a scientific fact. And many parents and teachers are bewildered at how emotional 7th and 8th graders can be. It's the terrible twos all over again with a large helping of hormones poured on top.
I had a student last year tell me to "shut the "f" up." A half hour later this same student--a boy with an emotional disorder--was sitting at my desk crying because he was missing his late father. By the end of the day he was as cheerful as can be and volunteering answers. And, if I do say so myself, it takes a strong constitution to handle the ups and downs, the trials and tribulations, the pride and disappointment felt in minutes when dealing with students in the middle grades.
In addition to teaching middle school students for at least 7 years, I have also been teaching them social science. I have absolutely fallen in love with the subject. I teach all the subjects, but I particularly love teaching them social science. Middle School students often feel helpless to authority at the same time being told to act like an adult. Teaching the students their Constitutional rights empowers them. Teaching them about the young people throughout history who have altered the course of the world grabs their attention and, again, empowers them. Teaching them about the different parts of the world ignites curiousity that motivates them to do better so they can see the world around them first hand.
But, I'm not qualified to teach it anymore.
The Illinois State Board of Education, in all its magnificent glory, has rewritten the rules and moved the goal line once again. Now a teacher needs to be endorsed in the middle school grades and the subjects they teach, even if they have been teaching these grades and subjects for years now. Doesn't count.
So, Bill Clinton, George H W Bush and George W Bush, you need not apply. Harvard will take you. Yale will take you. Georgetown, Stanford and Oakton Community College. But, sorry. You don't have enough credentials here, at CPS.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Yaaaawwwwwnnnnnn
I set a goal to write on my blog every night.
I didn't last night.
After school, I went straight to the Union meeting.
Then I dragged myself home.
It's not that I was so tired that I forgot.
It's that I was sssssssssssssssssooooooooooooooo tired, I fell asleep.
So, here I am now.
Tomorrow I have an appointment with the interim principal to discuss why my special education students with learning disabilities and read at a 3rd grade level do not meet expectations on the ISATs.
This is the same interim principal in her second day of leadership asked my fellow special education teacher why all her students fell into the category of "below expectations" in reading on the ISATs. This teacher tried to explain to the interim that her students have learning disabilities (which if they are classified as such that means a psychologist had to make that call and that call is made if a child is performing at least 2 stanines below their intelligence quotient).
The interim's response, "Well, we'll set it up so you can watch a special education program that works."
Really. Show mewhere studetns who read at 1st, 2nd, 3rd grade levels can meet or exceed expectations on a 6th grade level reading test. If there is any out there, sign me up. I'll pay to check it out.
That's not to say we have low expectations for our kids. Facts are facts. A diabetic is not going to suddenly start making insulin because he is trying hard. No matter what "The Secret" says.
Several of our students with LD do meet or even exceed expectations on the math and science portions of the ISATs. This was not the case for reading where they ALL fell into the categories of "below expectations" or "academic warning"--the lowest of the classifications. Well, we can READ the math and science tests to the SWDs (students with disabilities). In fact, we're provided with scripts and audio CDs. However, we cannot provide ANY modifications for reading except for extended time. Now, I ask you, how can a student meet expectations on the ISATs if their form of dyslexia, let's say, has them reading at a 2nd grade level, according, again, to a psychologist, but are expected to read, retain and answer questions pertaining to a passage written at the 7th grade level.
It would be like giving me a phonetically spelled out test in Chinese. I could sound out the words, but I would have absolutely no idea what I had comprehended. And you could give me all the time in the world, and I still would not meet or exceed expectations....unless I got lucky in my guessing.
Now about that Union meeting.
More on that later....feeling very sleepy.
G'night
I didn't last night.
After school, I went straight to the Union meeting.
Then I dragged myself home.
It's not that I was so tired that I forgot.
It's that I was sssssssssssssssssooooooooooooooo tired, I fell asleep.
So, here I am now.
Tomorrow I have an appointment with the interim principal to discuss why my special education students with learning disabilities and read at a 3rd grade level do not meet expectations on the ISATs.
This is the same interim principal in her second day of leadership asked my fellow special education teacher why all her students fell into the category of "below expectations" in reading on the ISATs. This teacher tried to explain to the interim that her students have learning disabilities (which if they are classified as such that means a psychologist had to make that call and that call is made if a child is performing at least 2 stanines below their intelligence quotient).
The interim's response, "Well, we'll set it up so you can watch a special education program that works."
Really. Show mewhere studetns who read at 1st, 2nd, 3rd grade levels can meet or exceed expectations on a 6th grade level reading test. If there is any out there, sign me up. I'll pay to check it out.
That's not to say we have low expectations for our kids. Facts are facts. A diabetic is not going to suddenly start making insulin because he is trying hard. No matter what "The Secret" says.
Several of our students with LD do meet or even exceed expectations on the math and science portions of the ISATs. This was not the case for reading where they ALL fell into the categories of "below expectations" or "academic warning"--the lowest of the classifications. Well, we can READ the math and science tests to the SWDs (students with disabilities). In fact, we're provided with scripts and audio CDs. However, we cannot provide ANY modifications for reading except for extended time. Now, I ask you, how can a student meet expectations on the ISATs if their form of dyslexia, let's say, has them reading at a 2nd grade level, according, again, to a psychologist, but are expected to read, retain and answer questions pertaining to a passage written at the 7th grade level.
It would be like giving me a phonetically spelled out test in Chinese. I could sound out the words, but I would have absolutely no idea what I had comprehended. And you could give me all the time in the world, and I still would not meet or exceed expectations....unless I got lucky in my guessing.
Now about that Union meeting.
More on that later....feeling very sleepy.
G'night
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Great First Day!
I had a great first day!!!
One of my students, a selective mute, read out loud to me and spoke to me. I thought it would take weeks, but I just did what Torey Hayden, a fabulous novelist who writes about her experiences as a special education teacher. She says to let a person who is selectively mute to speak to you first. Don't speak to them. I didn't. I was prepared for this to take months and months, but it only took one day. I gave the class directions, of course, and he's in the class, but I didn't speak to him one-on-one. When it was time for him to read to me, I just pointed to the words and he read them. Very quietly. I could barely hear him, but he definitely spoke the words "Put out the fire." Then when I asked him how his day was at the end of the day, he said, again in barely a whisper, "good." But he said it.
Now for Ismael. He is diagnosed with ADHD, his mother is a known gang banger, and if you ask her about him, she says, in front of the poor boy, "this one is my trouble maker. I don't like him." So, I'm going easy on him. He swore several times, he got hyper excited by the end of the day, was listening to an MP3 Player and was asked two or three times to put it away. I will have to think of rewards, rewards, rewards for him.
The two students who went to the office to complain about me last year (which, is a fairly common occurence with special ed., middle school boys with emotional disorders, but still doesn't feel good), were very courteous, followed directions and told me they wanted to stay in my class. Yay for me! Yay for me! Yay for me!
Bye for now. Here's hoping to a great second day!!!
One of my students, a selective mute, read out loud to me and spoke to me. I thought it would take weeks, but I just did what Torey Hayden, a fabulous novelist who writes about her experiences as a special education teacher. She says to let a person who is selectively mute to speak to you first. Don't speak to them. I didn't. I was prepared for this to take months and months, but it only took one day. I gave the class directions, of course, and he's in the class, but I didn't speak to him one-on-one. When it was time for him to read to me, I just pointed to the words and he read them. Very quietly. I could barely hear him, but he definitely spoke the words "Put out the fire." Then when I asked him how his day was at the end of the day, he said, again in barely a whisper, "good." But he said it.
Now for Ismael. He is diagnosed with ADHD, his mother is a known gang banger, and if you ask her about him, she says, in front of the poor boy, "this one is my trouble maker. I don't like him." So, I'm going easy on him. He swore several times, he got hyper excited by the end of the day, was listening to an MP3 Player and was asked two or three times to put it away. I will have to think of rewards, rewards, rewards for him.
The two students who went to the office to complain about me last year (which, is a fairly common occurence with special ed., middle school boys with emotional disorders, but still doesn't feel good), were very courteous, followed directions and told me they wanted to stay in my class. Yay for me! Yay for me! Yay for me!
Bye for now. Here's hoping to a great second day!!!
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Friday, September 4, 2009
Silliness
This year, I am finally moving to a room that is sandwiched between the 7th and 8th grade general education rooms. This is great for my students because it minimizes transitions as well as the stigma of walking down the long walk of shame to the special education room. Now it's just a room in the middle school wing.
But, not only is this room included in the middle school wing, it is smaller than the previous room, the windows are permanently clouded, and it has carpeting. The small area will help reduce off-task behavior because there are fewer places for students to walk/run to and the desks are such that it's more comfortable to be at a work station than in an open area that provides no real educational benefit. The clouded windows will completely reduce students' desire to look out into the streets to spy on the goings on at the corner "store" because it is absolutely impossible to see through the windows and the corner "store" cannot be seen from 204. Finally, the gross green carpeting in the bright orange 204 is a beautiful welcome because it will greatly reduce noise.
The only negative of switching rooms is the actual switching rooms process. Half of Wednesday and most of today was spent carting supplies like computers, desks, chairs, and lots and lots of books from room 218 to room 204. I got a lot of the things into the room on Wednesday; Thursday was spent listening to one sad fact after another; and today was spent taking the computers off their broken carts and put onto tables (with a fellow teacher and her mother connecting them for me), arranging the desks so that everyone can see the board but won't be blocked by the overhead projector, arranging the file cabinets, setting up the copy machine, arranging the desks, finding enough chairs for my students, bleaching everything--everything, hanging up bulletin board paper and corresponding boarders (which is quite a challenge when you're 4'11"), and putting all the books that are in room 204 so far onto shelves.
The printers for the computers don't work and two of the screens are dying.
The desks are cleaned by the graffiti is still visible.
The overhead projector is dirty and I haven't come across the pens yet.
When I moved the file cabinets, I smashed my finger and think I may have chipped a joint.
The pastel-flowered contact paper is still stuck on the cabinets.
I haven't tested the copy machine to see if it's working.
The bulletin boards are empty.
I don't have all the books from 218, including the books I need to start science lessons.
So, why not stay late or go in on the weekend. Teachers are professionals, right? Well, CPS teachers are not allowed in the building unless there is an administrator, so at 4:00 this afternoon, the school was closed, and it won't be open until Tuesday morning when students return. So, lesson plans will be written at home and everything else will be done in a whirlwind atnd at the last minute early Tuesday morning.
But, not only is this room included in the middle school wing, it is smaller than the previous room, the windows are permanently clouded, and it has carpeting. The small area will help reduce off-task behavior because there are fewer places for students to walk/run to and the desks are such that it's more comfortable to be at a work station than in an open area that provides no real educational benefit. The clouded windows will completely reduce students' desire to look out into the streets to spy on the goings on at the corner "store" because it is absolutely impossible to see through the windows and the corner "store" cannot be seen from 204. Finally, the gross green carpeting in the bright orange 204 is a beautiful welcome because it will greatly reduce noise.
The only negative of switching rooms is the actual switching rooms process. Half of Wednesday and most of today was spent carting supplies like computers, desks, chairs, and lots and lots of books from room 218 to room 204. I got a lot of the things into the room on Wednesday; Thursday was spent listening to one sad fact after another; and today was spent taking the computers off their broken carts and put onto tables (with a fellow teacher and her mother connecting them for me), arranging the desks so that everyone can see the board but won't be blocked by the overhead projector, arranging the file cabinets, setting up the copy machine, arranging the desks, finding enough chairs for my students, bleaching everything--everything, hanging up bulletin board paper and corresponding boarders (which is quite a challenge when you're 4'11"), and putting all the books that are in room 204 so far onto shelves.
The printers for the computers don't work and two of the screens are dying.
The desks are cleaned by the graffiti is still visible.
The overhead projector is dirty and I haven't come across the pens yet.
When I moved the file cabinets, I smashed my finger and think I may have chipped a joint.
The pastel-flowered contact paper is still stuck on the cabinets.
I haven't tested the copy machine to see if it's working.
The bulletin boards are empty.
I don't have all the books from 218, including the books I need to start science lessons.
So, why not stay late or go in on the weekend. Teachers are professionals, right? Well, CPS teachers are not allowed in the building unless there is an administrator, so at 4:00 this afternoon, the school was closed, and it won't be open until Tuesday morning when students return. So, lesson plans will be written at home and everything else will be done in a whirlwind atnd at the last minute early Tuesday morning.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Abysmal
All the excitement of getting back to school and setting up the year was completely squashed today when the ISAT numbers were revealed. Oy Vey is all I have to say right now. It took me two hours to finally get connected, and I need to parent. I will write more later about the info. we heard today.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Teachers are slobs
Apparently teachers are dirty slobs who eat their food like famished animals at a trough. This is the conclusion I've come to since the board, in all its glory, is making us give breakfast in the classroom to our students under its new "Universal Breakfast Program", but we are still not allowed to eat lunch at our desks.
We can be trusted to pass out food, supervise the eating and the cleaning up (all in 10 minutes BTW) of 30 students, but we cannot be trusted to eat our own lunch at our own desks. What? Really?
Oh, and according to the glorious board, the Universal Breakfast, which will be provided during the mandatory block reading time, will not negatively affect student performance on the oh-so-fabulous test that determine everything from graduating to funding teacher positions.
I will definitely keep you posted on this one!
We can be trusted to pass out food, supervise the eating and the cleaning up (all in 10 minutes BTW) of 30 students, but we cannot be trusted to eat our own lunch at our own desks. What? Really?
Oh, and according to the glorious board, the Universal Breakfast, which will be provided during the mandatory block reading time, will not negatively affect student performance on the oh-so-fabulous test that determine everything from graduating to funding teacher positions.
I will definitely keep you posted on this one!
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Ready
Hair is freshly colored and highlighted. Car is washed. Cash for lunch, bags by the door. Ready for the first day back.
(Will get pedi/mani and oil changed before the kids return on Tuesday.)
(Will get pedi/mani and oil changed before the kids return on Tuesday.)
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